breaking news: Ugandan sportswriters rambling, histrionic

In their October 7 Daily Monitor article on the Ugandan cricket team's disappointing performance in Kenya last week, Hussein Bogere and Innocent Ndawula manage to use all of the following phrases:

• the angel of death who plucks out the heart of our loved ones
• Uganda's batting problems stand out like spilled gravy on a white sheet
• wake up and smell the coffee
• media hullabaloo
• cricket Czars
• for heavens' sake
• cry the beloved country

And they say Uganda has no literary culture.